


make my gorilla tingle

by regrets



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M, sexy carrot, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 19:16:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6021781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regrets/pseuds/regrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>kondo says follow ur american dream</p>
            </blockquote>





	make my gorilla tingle

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be a valentines day special but i fORG OT  
> crediting the fuck out of yorozuyas aka dylan he wrote 80% of this  
> we all go to hell someday

it was a fine spring morning. i feel refreshed and energized because i had just gotten my sexy gorilla beauty sleep. i was walking out of the shinsengumi barracks feeling so ready to kick some buttocks- particularly katsura kotarou. on the way a jackass bumps into me and i spill coffee all over my fucking uniform and he starts laughing like a fucking maniac. i, of course, get angry.

"what the fuck you ugly piece of over-sized carrot!" i shout angrily, whipping around to show him my beautiful hairy gorilla chest.

the man keeps laughing and that's when i realize just who this jackass is AND OH MY GOD IT'S WWE SUPERSTAR DONALD TRUMP SR!!!

our eyes meet and he pauses for a second and he stares into my black gorilla orbs. i feel my banana tingling down there and i blush like shinpachi when he sees otsuu-chan performing on stage.

"d-donald trump-kun.." i say as i blush deeper than gintoki's strawberry boxers. i try to keep my cool because i'm the chief of the shinsengumi but his toupee was begging to be stroked by my gentle hands.

i clear my husky gorilla throat. "i haven't seen you around here before."

"i just came here for a secret investigation."

"what."

"i was told to investigate the amantos of the gintama world. and it turns out i just found one." he looks at me with judging eyes. "and a hairy one at that."

i blush and say,"this is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me!"

"i'm glad," he says, 'did you know i'm a professional gorilla tamer?" he asks.

i get excited. my heart is beating so fast it feels like my chest is going to explode into monkey meat. i try to calm down, take a deep breath, and ask the question i"ve been waiting to ask for years.

"s-....shall we... yaoi?"

\---

he lays me down on the bed, pushing aside the hair on my chest and all over my body.

"mhm you so smexy for a gorilla," donald breathes down in my ear. i squirm under his touch.

"touch my dirty hose!" i moan, pulling down my pants.

donald looks at me lovingly and i stare at his fake carrot hair as he takes me in his hand, stroking my banana.

"wanna ride my yaoi, gori-kun?"

"i don't know, do i wanna ride your yaoi?"

"you fool. you've activated my trump card."

I NOD. he lays down and i sit on him, his yaaaaoi sliding into my puckered gorilla butthole. my ass hair is so thick, i could barely feel his radish sliding in and out.

"i can't take this anymore!" trump shouts. "I AM THE GORILLA TAMER! I SHOULD BE TAMING YOU!" he flips us over so that i am underneath him. i feel scared of his sudden change and dominance at me.

"you like that, baby gorilla?" he whispers huskily in my hair as he moves his hips.

"yes daddy!" i shout, clinging onto his wrinkly, deteriorating body. "please penetrate me with your american dreaaaaaaam!"

his pace grows faster and faster until the feeling pools in my gut and sticky yellow juice shoots out of my dirty hose.

I YELLED OUT "YES DADDY TRUMP!"

suddenly we hear a voice from outside saying, "daddy trump ja nai. CATSURA DAAAAAAAA!" a black cat jumps down from the window holding his sharpened tail and throws it at trumps' direction. it hits him in the head and his toupee falls to the ground with a soft thud.

he's dead.


End file.
